Parenting: A Journey to Grow with Our Children

by Jing Huang, MSW, RSW

Ever wonder, what our baby will look like before they were born? How many of us, were having the tremendous excitement and joy together with the anxiety to welcome a new life into our family? How many of us, were amazed by our toddlers who were developing fast day by day? How many of us, became ambitious when our children started school, hoping them to shine through their life?

While, years passed by and they are now pre-teens or teens. How many times, we are frustrated with the recurring conflicts with them? How many times, we are scared about them drifting away the right track and engage in unhealthy or even illegal activities? How many times, we feel regretted and guilty after we yell or argue with them? How many times, we wake up in the middle of the night with intense self-doubt about our approach and parenting skills? Also, how many times, we are thrilled about how insightful and thoughtful they are? How many times, we are so grateful for how healing and therapeutic they are for us? How many times, we are so proud of the caring and loving human being they are growing into?

As a mom with a 12-year-old son and an 8-year-old daughter, I experienced all the above, no difference from you. I've experienced the frustrations of repeated mistakes, the challenges of navigating boundaries, the impatience of busy mornings and late nights, the anxieties about their future, and the concerns that arise from parent-teacher conferences. I’ve also felt that pang of worry when their views

My own parenting journey has been a continuous learning experience, filled with adjustments and valuable insights. And now, I'm happy and proud to share that I feel more confident and relaxed in my role as a parent. We've established a routine together that has brought more organization and connection to our daily lives. My son confides in me, sharing his little secrets (which I always keep, of course!), and he often reflects on his day with a positive outlook, even when things have been tough. He encourages me to prioritize self-care, reminding me to love myself. He feels comfortable sharing his worries and struggles, and after our conversations, he'll often say, "Mom, I feel so much better now. I'm so glad you're like a mental doctor!" He expresses his love and affection openly and humorously. My daughter snuggles close, telling me she chose the perfect mom and praying for me when she senses I'm not feeling my best. She expresses her needs and wants clearly and confidently, and she stands up for herself with grace and strength.

There are so many more stories I could share – stories of growth, joy, laughter, and even some tears. My personal experiences, combined with professional knowledge, have given me the confidence to support and guide other parents on this incredible journey.

I'd like to end with a beautiful quote from my son: "Mom," he said, "you became a mom the same time I was born, so you're the same age as me, not even a minute older. It's okay if you make mistakes, and I hope you're okay when I do too. We grow older together, and we grow up together." What a wonderful way to look at it!